Tomahawks & Assault Rifles

I want a full day with you. Like a full 24 hours. I want to wake up to you wearing my t-shirt cooking breakfast. I want to come up behind you as you hand me my coffee. Then i’ll make you wash my car :). After, we’ll take a shower together, and I’ll tell you if that dress you just got is pretty or not. I’ll take you to lunch on the beach, and the whole way there we will sing Frank Ocean and Drake songs until we can’t breathe anymore, anyone giving us dirty looks gets the finger. On the way back we’ll take my dog for a walk and talk about meaningless things for a couple hours. Phones will be off so no one can bother us. We’ll pick up some beer and make hamburgers for dinner with our closest friends. We’ll get drunk, and blast 90’s dance hits until the wee hours of the morning. We’ll fall asleep with you being big spoon on the couch watching family guy. Wake up, and do it all again. 

You know that feeling where you feel a breath of fresh air? it’s dating season, and I”ve met a nice girl, a really nice girl. A good change, she isn’t the usual girl I’d date. Shy, reserved, and quiet. I like it. We’re not rushing like all my past relationships. If this gets real it does. It’s weird to think that without me knowing my ex I wouldn’t be here in this position. You got to appreciate life. I feel like everyone’s always pissed off at the fact life has its ups and owns. But if you can cope with it, it’ll work in your favor. Idk i’m ranting because i’m kinda drunk but not really. talk to me! 

We started talking right after halloween, right after Drake dropped his first album. It was all we listened too. That album was played at least 3 times a day. We’d smoke to it, we’d fuck to it, hell, we would dance to it. I still listen to that album on a daily basis. Whenever it comes on, you pop into my head. But i’m happy to say that feeling is grey, almost gone completely now. It’s crazy nearly a year has passed. I’m glad you’re happy. It’s all I wanted for you. Never the less, I was crazy. But i’ve learned, sucks you had to be the guinea pig but that’s the way life rails you. 

I hate the fact that I’m so indecisive. Girls are accusing me of playing them or like using them, when that isn’t my intentions. Do I only have myself to blame? or is it something bigger within. Am I subconsciously destroying potential relationships based of my last relationships. Idk, I hate breaking someones heart, I would never do it on purpose, I’ve been through that one to many times. You guys know that. If you guys want to blame me for that then go for it. I admit that I can’t handle a relationship, longest they go is less than a year. 3 month intervals of ups and downs. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, if I like you then automatically my heart is yours, and I think that scares people away. I’m always getting lectured at the fact that I rush into things, and I’m learning to control myself. But how much bullshit do I have to go through to finally meet her? Given, I am only 20 years old. I have 60 years or something to run into someone. But what if it never happens, I don’t carry that attitude. But you never know, what if my life is 3 month pointless relationships? I’m ready for whatever the world will throw at me. I just want something real for once. 

This gloomy weather always makes my mind wander, I chain smoke and just think about how much has happened over this past year and how much will happen. How things fall apart and how things seem to come together when there is no hope. It always works out. No matter how low the lows get, no matter how much shit would be easier if they weren’t there, even If you make mistake after mistake. the key is learning from them. We’re all humans, no one is going to have their life go in a perfect line. Nobody, there will always be underlying pressure from friends, family, anyone. Just breathe. that’s all you need to do, Breathe

A girl who is smart yet ditzy, A girl who doesn’t get mad when I play basketball with my friends, she plays with us, A girl who has food waiting for me when I get home, and Juicy J blasting on the iHome. A girl who is big spoon, who makes sure my clothes are on the right way, plays with my hair as I sleep, kisses me as I sleep, brags to me about her friends, knows what  pliers are, is down with a night of drinking wine and watch Oceans 11. 

dthaddr:

I’m the type of guy that will be creepy and imagine our wedding day. Be a hopeless romantic and imagine what our kids will look like. Buy you random bullshit you don’t need. Kiss you too much, hug you too much. I’ll eat all your food and sleep in your bed. Fart in your face and call you a boob. But when I promise you, I’m yours. I mean it. Don’t doubt me, love me and I’ll love you

dthaddr:

Take it slow, no need to take things fast. Fall in love slowly over time, instead of rushing straight into it. Make sure that she’s the one, be able to read her like a book, know what makes her happy, know what makes her sad. Don’t piss her off on purpose, or go out of your way to get her jealous. Don’t be the guy that deliberately lies to her face. Be the guy she can fall asleep on, can talk about her problems with. Be her best friend, treat her like a princess.  

I tend to over think things a lot. Don’t take it personally, it’s just who I’ve become. I have to keep my guard up. I’ve been fuck with too much, and I’ve fucked around too much. So I’m just waiting for karma to kick my ass. I think that it has happened, but then when something else comes up I wonder if this is the time where I get rolled by karma. I hope one day you’ll understand that

That feeling when you realize how much the one person means to you. 2 minutes of not texting back feels like hours, if they don’t say goodnight you pull your hair out thinking they are mad at you. The feeling you get when you see them for the first time all day. The feeling of being at home no matter where you are at with them. How their hand seems to fit yours perfectly. How you share endless laughs. The best times are the best you’ve ever had, and the worst is the shittiest feeling in the world. The feeling when you wake up to their face, or how in the middle of the night you wake up to re-arrange yourself so you’re closer to them. The little things.

i still feel like im in a dream, like i’ll just wake up and find out that is was too good to be true. I could just lay there for hours and tell her how beautiful she is. hug her until she exploded. I won’t ever get enough. seeing her everyday just doesn’t cut it. I want her by my side 24 hours a day. I want to be able to turn around and have her sitting right there. It’s not fair,how could I stumble on someone as perfect as her. Sure, we have our ups and downs. But it doesn’t matter, by the end of the day she is still mine. “Mine” something I can’t get used to. I’ll sit and it’ll hit me how lucky I am, how everything seeming effortlessly fell into place. I have the greatest girl I could ever ask for. why? why me? what did I ever do to deserve this?. I guess one day I’ll know for sure but until then I’ll just just cruise along.

let me prove to you that I was better than he’d ever be.

we’ll just spend all our nights watching Destination Truth and Walking dead. While we eat pop corn and tell each other how cute we are.